By Anjolaoluwa Odebiyi
After surviving the last week, it is certain that many awoites now understand why the first thing God declared at the beginning of creation was “Let there be light”. Unfortunately, these strong Amazons must have lacked the creative powers of God, as even though they declared let there be light more times than they could count, there was no light.
Naturally, every Nigerian has a love-hate relationship with NEPA. This toxic relationship has been passed down and inherited from generation to generation, right from the time light was introduced to Nigeria. In this relationship, NEPA is the distant husband who may choose to disappear for days on end, then suddenly appear bearing gifts, but this distant husband’s sporadic nature cannot be trusted as he is more absent than present and often leaves in his wake foolishly undeterred hope, a truckload of anxiety, and multiple dashed expectations.
While Nigerians, or in this case, awoites, are the doting wives, patiently or impatiently waiting for our husband NEPA to come home. We start with pleading and praise to cajole our husband to come and shift to curses and threats when he doesn’t hear our cry. And finally, we lose all hope and accept our fate. The painful thing is that no matter how many times our husband NEPA disappoints us, the joy that brightens our faces once he arrives is unparallel.
You see, this toxic relationship is terribly dangerous and tiring, but many Awoites would remain stuck in this cycle as long as they remained in Awotropolis. The reason for this is not far-fetched at all. Seeing as we are a hostel set on a hill, the light that travels from school areas down to hostels chooses to end its journey with the male hostels or with the Queens of Idia if they are lucky enough.
But you see, we Amazons live true to our name, as we are forced to embody a jungle and struggle with life because we are deemed not good enough to be custodians of light. However, awoites are not deterred in the slightest; in fact, when the going gets tough, awoites become tougher. It’s for this reason that the real MVP’s have managed to rise despite Awo’s no-light chronicles.
- THE POWERBANK MONGERS
Confucius once said “Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure”. This Chinese philosopher, although unknown to many, including this writer, exposed a secret that many Awoites have unknowingly taken advantage of.
The key to surviving a no-light plague is to be well prepared before hand, and what better way to show your preparedness than with a trusty power bank? Whether the capacity of the power bank is 10000mAh, 20000mAh, or higher, your power bank will save you when you can’t save yourself.
Awoites opportune to have power banks are largely unphased for the first day or two, as their devices would seem to be somewhat charged. Once light disappears, these people become the most wanted and disliked people in a matter of minutes. Wanted because they turn into the destiny helpers people preach about and disliked once they showed they were not the destiny helpers many thought they would be.
- THE LIGHT CHASERS
These people take the saying survival of the fittest literally. Once light bids them good-bye, they embark on a journey to find sources of light from wherever they can. They start their journey by seeking out people who have power banks. They are sometimes successful, but when they are not, they remain undeterred.
They wait patiently, bidding for the moment when Awo’s loud, obnoxious generator is turned on. As soon as they hear the sound of the generator, they run to the front of the porter’s lodge, fast and furious, armed with as many chargers as they can find and a trusty extension. In a matter of seconds, the area surrounding the porter’s lodge and beneath the staircase is filled with their counterparts, forming a web of chargers and extensions. They take turns guarding their possessions as they complain, lament, and exchange premium gist.
Although the light chasers may be forced to wait minutes or hours for their appliances to charge, they leave with their things charged and, in some cases, an extension that has blown.
- THE PILGRIMS
These people are the ones that would search high and low, from faculties to hostels, in search of light. You would find them on group chats and calls, asking what part of the university there’s light. Once they get an answer, they go on a quest to find light.
This quest may sometimes end with premium tears and frustration, while on other days it may be a great win for them. Whatever the case is, these people are determined to not return to their hostel set on a hill without accomplishing the task of charging all their devices.
The pilgrims are always loaded with stories of their escapades, and they are able to direct others to the paths that led them to the light they searched for.
- THE PREMIUM STANDARD
It’s no secret that there are some who only use Awo Hall as a second option; hence, once the going gets tough, they immediately go back to the soft life they are well acquainted with. Whether it’s their parents or suitor’s house, these ones don’t wait for the struggle for light to affect them before they pack their things to meet their helper.
They cannot be found chasing light or struggling for even a short period of time. The same way they left Awo in a twinkle of an eye is the same way they return when everything goes back to normal.
Whatever category you might fall into, remember that this struggle is just a part of our adventures as humans. Join this writer as we wait for our husband, NEPA, to return to the Great Obafemi Awolowo Hall.
OBAFEMI AWOLOWO HALL PRESS 
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