OPINION: REAL TRUTHS ABOUT ADULTHOOD

Kolade, Olakiitan.

Do you remember how you dreamt about being an adult when you were only 10? How you didn’t want to identify as a child as you declared you’re a big girl or boy? I remember feeling so excited and eager to experience the freedom and independence that come with being an adult. It was the ultimate dream to do everything on my own without anyone questioning me. But little did I know that adulthood comes with so much more than just freedom and independence.

Allow me to paint a clearer picture. Once upon a time, the least thing we worried about was what to eat, and the greatest thing we worried about was whether we would get presents on birthdays or Christmas. But now the tides have changed, and with the future drawing nearer, we are reminded that our lives are in our hands, and with each blessed day that passes, we either make the most of it or make a total mess of it. The very thought of this is extremely daunting.

The question of when exactly an individual becomes an adult is a complex one, and it’s interesting to explore the various factors that contribute to this notion. While many countries have designated 18 as the age at which individuals are granted certain privileges and considered to be adults, it’s important to note that maturity is not a rigid concept that can be defined by a specific age or milestone. It’s influenced by various factors such as cultural norms, social expectations, personal experiences, and individual circumstances.

Recently, I had a fascinating conversation with a friend who would be turning 18. During our conversation, I asked her how she felt about this milestone birthday and was surprised by her response. Surprisingly, she said, “I’m about to be an adult and can now do whatever I want; I can even get arrested.”

This got me thinking about the various ways in which our society defines adulthood. With the ever-increasing pace of technological advancement and changing social norms, it’s possible that our understanding of what it means to be an adult may evolve over time. It’s likely that future generations will have a more nuanced and complex understanding of maturity, and the age at which individuals are recognized as adults may shift.

Adulthood is not just about the legal privileges enjoyed at 18. It involves personal growth, responsibility, decision-making, resilience, and self-awareness. It is a transformative journey unique to each individual. Adulthood will allow you to do many things, like find yourself and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

What does it mean to be an adult? What differentiates an adult from a non-adult? I prefer to use the word non-adult because some 10-year-olds are more grown up than some college students in their 20s. Let’s examine the differences.

1. Responsibility

This word is likely to be one of the most used whenever the topic of adulthood comes up. It goes beyond paying for what you’ve done. It means understanding your actions, accepting them, and paying the price for your actions. There is a willingness to pay the price for your actions. Adults accept consequences as the price for their own actions or inactions. Until people learn to take responsibility rather than shift blame, we will have half-baked individuals characterized as adults based on age but failing in character.

2. Maturity

Maturity is a skill set that includes having an independent opinion. Most ‘adults’ are immature because they lack the ability to independently support or oppose opinions. They merely adopt views and opinions from TV, newspapers, or the internet and dogmatically follow trends, whether they are true or not.

Maturity further entails developing emotionally. Unfortunately, it is practically rare to meet people who have a grasp of their emotions, rather than having them rule over them. In this day and age where different orientations crop up out of the blues and various ideologies run wild, there’s great emphasis on the emotions and the weight of them. Even though this movement isn’t altogether negative, we can’t deny the fact that people would rather stay comfortable in their immaturity than take initiative and work on themselves.

It means being able to make one’s own decisions rather than let others lead the way while they just follow. Adults know how to set goals, not because it is the standard thing to do but because it’s the mature thing to do.

3. Quest for personal growth and development

Reflecting on events and feelings is an important aspect of personal growth and development. In my experience, taking time to retreat, reflect, and introspect intermittently has been incredibly valuable. It allows me to critically look back on my previous actions, dreams, and visions and consider what I have learned and achieved, as well as anticipate what the next few months may hold. I strongly believe that everyone should make a habit of doing this, not just before monumental things like birthdays or new years, but constantly and frequently, even daily. It is one of the best ways to mature and grow as an individual.

4. Self-sufficiency

Aim to be self-sufficient. I have seen a lot of people get this wrong. I know there’s this overwhelming feeling of responsibility that comes with adulthood, especially with respect to becoming financially independent. In truth, there comes a time when we feel that there’s so much to be done and no one is available to help. Other times, people hold wrongly to self-sufficiency due to their belief that seeking help is a big no.

However, seeking help in light of being an adult manifests through networking and value optimization. Indeed, self-sufficiency is a journey to being able to stand independently, but in this journey, people are highly required. The fact that you suddenly feel old enough to handle things is not automatically synonymous with packing out of your parents’ house, especially when you have no solid plans for where to stay. Your journey to self-sufficiency should start with intentional saving, frugal spending, and budgeting.

In conclusion, the journey towards adulthood is not just a matter of reaching a certain age or milestone. It is a gradual process that involves personal growth, responsibility, and maturity. It is a unique journey that is shaped by our experiences and values, and it provides us with opportunities for self-discovery and development. By developing these skills, reflecting on our experiences, and striving for self-sufficiency, we can become more fulfilled and successful adults.