DEALING WITH ROOMMATES DRAMA LIKE A PRO

Leonard Divine

Talk about hostel life, talk about roommates! It’s just one of the packages that comes with staying in a hostel, but let’s be honest: sharing a room with someone (or several someones) can sometimes feel like walking on eggshells. 

Whether as a Staylite or a freshman, roommates drama is pretty much inevitable. From messy habits to just plain misunderstandings, you’re bound to experience issues with your roommate. 
The good news is that you can handle roommates drama without so much as breaking a sweat and subsequently make the most of your school life.

The first tip to effectively handling roommates drama is Communication. 
One of the biggest reasons roommate issues escalate is because people bottle things up. If something’s bothering you, don’t wait until it builds up and explodes. Communicate before you combust!! Speaking about issues that bother you with roommates would help set out boundaries and prevent any misunderstanding that could crop up. Use “I” statements instead of blaming ones. For example, “I find it hard to sleep when the lights are on late” works better than “You’re always inconsiderate.” Simple changes in wording can make a huge difference. 
Sometimes a few polite words would go a long way in averting a fight, always talk it out!!

Set boundaries early!  Most problems can be avoided if expectations are clear from the beginning. Have a chat early on about basics—cleaning duties, hygiene, borrowing stuff, and even things like guests or study hours. It might feel awkward at first, but it’ll save you from much bigger awkwardness down the line.

Tolerate Differences! Not everyone grew up the same way or has the same habits; you all came from different backgrounds and it is normal to have different personalities. Maybe your roommate is a night owl and you’re an early bird. Maybe they like blasting music while cleaning and you prefer quiet. You have to be understanding, and ask for the same in return. Coexisting doesn’t mean being exactly the same—it just means being considerate. 
Tolerating differences strengthens the bond between roommates and helps you understand the other person better.

Always try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes!! Before combusting and lashing out, always try to see from the other person’s perspective. If this happened to me, how would I feel?? How would I react? Take for instance, taking foodstuffs from a roommate whom you know is struggling financially is a bad call to make no matter how close or friendly they may seem. When you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, it becomes easier to make the right call when making decisions.

Don’t escalate what shouldn’t be escalated!! Pick your battles. Not every annoying thing needs a confrontation. Your roommate chewing loudly or leaving their socks around once in a while isn’t the end of the world. Learn to differentiate between minor annoyances and actual issues.

Address issues right away!! When dealing with roommates, it is better to address issues as they come. Keeping your roommate in the dark when you’re offended or hurt will not solve anything. Keeping silent and hoping that things will become better often gets you nowhere. If you’re unhappy about something, speak to your roommate about it and think of a plan together to move forward.

Stay calm when agitated!! Even though this is easier said than done, it is advisable to always explain your side of the story calmly!! Getting angry and yelling at the top of your lungs will only do more harm than good. When addressing an issue with your roommate, stay calm and explain why you’re upset. Hear them out. Then discuss how things can be better going forward!

Get help when you need it!! Don’t be afraid to get help. If things get out of hand—like constant fights, bullying, or anything affecting your mental health—it’s fine to bring in a warden, a hostel executive, hostel authority, or even a mutual friend/neighbour to mediate. You’re not overreacting. Your comfort and safety is important. When you’ve done all you can and there’s still no headway—seek help especially if your roommate is toxic. Don’t endure—speak out and seek help from the appropriate authorities. Your mental health comes first before anything!! Any threat to your health should be dealt with immediately! 
If things get too tense, it is alright to step out and clear your head. A little time apart can help clear the air and reset the mood.

Hostel life can be challenging and pretty demanding, especially for freshmen. Learning how to navigate these challenges, such as roommate drama, is crucial for an enjoyable and harmonious hostel experience. 
But beyond finding good roommates, it is just as important to be one. Kindness isn’t just something you deserve—it is something you give. A popular maxim says, “you can’t give what you don’t have.” A good roommate is not just someone you live with, but someone you grow with. You are not just sharing a room—you’re learning how to live with different people, and that’s a life skill that’ll serve you way beyond your hostel years.